Day 1

Day 1 (Or How I made a Bed I didn't have to and went Cold Turkey on Soda.)

When the Dawn breaks on the first day at the center, I haven't slept at all. All night I tossed and turned on the makeshift bed at the Edmond's Harbor Inn, which provides only minimal HBO and a number of Public Access Channels.

It's good to know there are abundant community colleges in Washington, and they provide public access channels. The Alarm on the machine next to my bed fails to go off. I wake at 5:30 and because the day will start at 7:00 a.m. thus far I am without guidance.

This day will begin soon and though Iam nervous, I work my room over. I do the inevitable look under the bed, but all I can find are the typical strange shadows that do not register I have lost something, so I shower and wash myself thoroughly.

15 minutes pass--I shave for the last time, and write down multiple numbers in my notebook, for today they will take my phone. This morning, I long to talk to Hollie, or anyone. This morning, the day has not begun, and I have drank my last soda. I decide that water shall be my friend, aided by the occasional iced tea or lemonade. This morning, I really want a soda, but the Breakfast Buffet has not opened, and I have not begun.

Shuffling outside my room, and I listen, a lady walks past my room, who I will later learn is named (Cindy) and I sink back into bed, only to watch a half-viewed Episode of "Mad Men"--how fitting.

The day has not begun yet. I shave in the mirror, and wipe down my own sink. I pack my suitcase tight, and tap in a few more text messages, but nobody is responding, probably because it is 6 a.m here and probably 4 a.m back home.

The hotel bed is made, and I marvel at it for a moment. Can it be that simple? Can I have it in me the ability to do this--without anger, without worry. My close shave stings a little, but It is the closest I've shaved thus far. I tie my tie, and grab my panama hat. My converse are tied. I want a soda bad. This should be a sign to me. I pray for a moment. My prayer is quick, and slow, and it is something like, God, will I be able to do this. The lock says, 6:05! I want it to start! (Each of these Entries is Unfinished.)